Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. — 1 Peter 5:7 NIV
Stress Check
Recently I asked a group of moms to answer this question: What’s the stress level in your household (high, medium or low)? You can probably guess the response. The resounding majority cried out “HIGH!!!”
Comments ranged from “I homeschool my 8- and 4-year-old boys and have a 6-month-old adopted daughter” to “I’m a single mom with a house that needs constant TLC” to “I have two teenage daughters…need I say more?” After listening for a while, I admit my stress level was rising fast too!
Action Steps to Reduce Stress
These next three action steps may seem too easy to be true solutions, but if you actually do these three things, you will experience significantly less stress in your mom life.
Laugh Daily
Researchers have found a correlation between how much you experience positive emotions like joy and happiness and a decreased rate of heart disease. That sounds a lot like Proverbs 17:22 NIV which says,
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
In my book 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom, I interviewed media personality and mother of seven Hannah Keeley. Hannah is like a party waiting to happen. She is a fun person. But of course, when you’re a busy mom, that fun person can go into hiding. She remembers her husband asking her once at bedtime, “Did you have fun today?” She thought about it and said, “No, I don’t think I had fun today.” Can you relate?
Hannah says, “We should go to bed every night and ask ourselves, ‘Did I have fun today?’ I think so many times we flip into this role of being a tyrannical mom. But if we can take time and have fun and understand one another, we understand what makes our family members tick.” Make it your aim to laugh at least once every day. It’s okay to write “have some fun” on your to-do list.
The Bible is filled with “shouts of joy” such as Psalm 100:1-2 NIV,
Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Sleep More
When I’m running ragged, existing on little sleep, I am not a happy camper. But if I get enough sleep – and I’m talking about a solid eight hours here – I am even-keeled, productive, and much less stressed. Somehow, we’ve bought the lie that it’s nobler to do more and sleep less. Go ahead and take a hit on your personal health and survive on a few hours of sleep. You can catch up on sleep later but your to-do list is now.
But I say, sleep more and be a nicer, less stressed mom. Benefits of sleep include more energy, less risk of diseases, improved memory and strong immunity. If you have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep, try:
- Cutting back on caffeine
- Going to bed at the same time each night
- Turning off all your screens 30 minutes before bedtime
- Practice relaxing activities like stretching or reading before bedtime
- Take a social media fast
As it says in Psalm 127:2 NKJV:
Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;…
…It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.
Yell Less
You know the feeling. It’s the tenth time you’ve asked your child to pick up his toys and you’re about to lose it. Heat is rising within you like a volcano. Believe me, yelling will not only leave a bad taste in your mouth, it will spike your stress up instantly.
In James 1:19 NIV it says,
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
Our tendency is to boil over in a flash. But God can help us to slow down and to hold our tongues.
Instead of yelling, use other methods of communication which also happen to be more effective. The battles with your children will not be won by who can yell the loudest or stomp the hardest. The war will be won by the smart mom who disciplines not with endless accusations or loud overtones, but with action. What are the consequences that will get your child’s attention? You want your motto to be: Yell less. Do more.
“Speak with loud actions and you will avoid the stress of losing it and your children will pay better attention to consequences that follow their disobedience.”
For instance, when my children were younger, we invented “the magic dollar.” I was getting tired of asking the kids to clean their dishes after every meal. So instead of lecturing or yelling, I simply said, “If you forget to put your dish away, it will cost you one dollar.” Believe me, my saver son got that lesson right away. I never have to ask him to put away his dish now. My stress level is basically non-existent at mealtimes and it all started with that magic dollar.
Today, remember to laugh with your kids, sleep for eight hours (it’s okay if everything doesn’t get done), and yell less.
As the mom, you set the tone for the home. When you’re less stressed and more peaceful, your kids will be too.
For more about motherhood from Arlene, check out her book 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom
Mom, do you feel like you’re running in ten different directions but getting nowhere? Are your kids driving you crazy? Does each day feel like a battle over screen time, homework, and eating anything besides chicken nuggets?
In 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom, Arlene Pellicane helps you get a grip and find your smile again. In her easy-to-read-and-apply guide, you will discover the keys to being a happy mom. Packed with encouragement, funny stories, and wisdom from experienced mothers, this book will change your home for the better…beginning with you.
