“You [God] make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” — Psalm 16:11 NIV
Fourteen-year-old Kiera Bell thought transitioning from female to male was the answer to her search for happiness, belonging, and identity—but later regretted her decision. She explains, “As I matured, I recognized that gender dysphoria was a symptom of my overall misery, not its cause.” In her mid-twenties, she “began the process of detransitioning.”
Like Bell, we all embark on a quest for fulfillment. Most of us recognize that a sense of belonging and identity are essential to well-being. Psychologist Abraham Maslow placed self-fulfillment needs at the top of his hierarchy pyramid. Modern psychologists recognize that human needs are intertwined and that we rarely feel satisfied unless we achieve some level of satisfaction in all five categories. Although we may not pursue a sex change, as Bell did, we often attempt to reach our goal through various unhealthy, even destructive, means.
A God-Ordained Quest
God gave human beings the capacity to ponder purpose, identity, and fulfillment. Indeed, self-reflection is instinctive for humans made in the image of God, and it lifts us above other living creatures that act almost entirely on instinct.
This search led David to ask God,
“What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor.” — Psalm 8:4–5 NLT
On the other hand, when the apostle Paul contemplated his inability to become the man he wanted to be, he cried out,
“Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?” — Romans 7:24 NLT
So what is the truth about human beings? Are we “crowned … with glory and honor,” or are we “dominated by sin and death”? The Bible tells us that both descriptions are true, and that we choose which path to pursue.
The Path to Disillusionment
Kiera Bell admits that she harbored a “naïve hope that everything could be solved with hormones and surgery.” You and I may indulge in different misconceptions, assuming that the right spouse, the right job, or the right ministry is the pathway to our goal. But those ideas are as erroneous as Bell’s.
King Solomon was wealthy enough to fulfill every whim and pursue every pleasure. In Ecclesiastes 2 he says, “Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure.” Here’s what Solomon discovered, “But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere” (Ecclesiastes 10-11 NLT). And in Proverbs 14:12 NLT he advises, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.”
Kiera Bell and many others have discovered the same futility. One internal study by the Gender Identity Development Service revealed that hormone treatment in a group of 44 patients who had started taking puberty drugs “failed to improve the mental state of patients, having ‘no significant effect’ on their psychological function, thoughts of self-harm, or body image.’’
In other words, the promises given to teens like Kiera Bell are undeliverable. Hormone treatments and sex-reassignment surgery are not the path to identity and fulfillment; instead, such choices will lead to dissatisfaction and disillusionment because they lead us away from our God-designed identity.
The Path to Fulfillment
God created each of us as a unique individual. Here’s what he revealed to the prophet Jeremiah: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5 NLT). The phrases “I formed you” and “I set you apart and appointed you” indicate that God wove purpose, significance, and identity into Jeremiah, and this is the same for each person’s DNA. In Jeremiah, God instilled the personality traits and skills to be the prophet he was designed to be.
God has also instilled in you and in me the necessary attributes and abilities to become the person he designed us to be. Jesus said, “My purpose is to give [you] a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). If we align ourselves with God’s desires and intent, all other needs will be met, but if we reject his design and attempt to change our God-given identity and purpose, we’ll end up as miserable and misguided as Kiera Bell and countless others.
To his friends in Ephesus, the apostle Paul wrote, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ” (Ephesians 1:3 NLT). What are some of those blessings?
Identity
“He purchased our freedom with the blood of his son and forgave our sins” (Ephesians 1:7 NLT). He also has adopted us “into his own family by bringing us to himself through Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 1:5 NLT). “And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 1:13 NLT).
Purpose
“Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:9–10 NLT emphasis added).
Fulfillment
“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God” (Ephesians 3:19 NLT).
Whatever may seem to be the cause of our dissatisfaction—wrong gender, wrong spouse, wrong job, wrong lifestyle—the true source of our discontent and restlessness is a severed relationship with God. Solomon tried everything and found it all meaningless until he returned to God: “In the way of righteousness there is life; along that path is immortality” (Proverbs 12:28 NIV). The psalmist observed, “You [God] make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” (Psalm 16:11 NIV).
God gave us the desire for belonging, identity, and purpose. He is the only one who can fulfill it.
