If you surf the internet or watch a popular TV show for even a few minutes, you may conclude that sexual activity is the chief goal and greatest joy for every human being.
You may also get the idea that media personalities are the authority on all matters related to sex. But the truth is, sexuality is God’s idea. He wove it into the DNA of Adam and Eve—the desire for sex, the best way to enjoy sex, and the purpose of sex.
God is the one and only true authority on human beings. Why? He created us. Genesis 1: 27–28 says, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply.’”
From that short passage, we can deduce several truths about sexuality.
First, God created two genders—male and female. Each gender reflects the image of God—his essence along with all his wonderful attributes—in unique ways. A man is not a woman, and a woman is not a man. Their physical appearance, their reproductive organs, and their muscle mass differ. The makeup of their brains and the way each gender thinks are different.
Second, God blessed the sexual union of a male and a female by making it the means of producing children. And you can be sure that the God who created reproductive organs knew that the sexual union between a man and a woman would bring them pleasure. He designed their reproductive organs to complement each other and to produce maximum sexual satisfaction.
God created sexual desire and the means to fulfill it, but he does not sanction all sexual pleasure: In The Message, Hebrews 13:4 says, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against causal and illicit sex.”
Third, the physical and emotional union of a man and woman are the foundation of companionship, the family unit, and society. Even the United Nations supports the fundamental importance of the family unit in societies worldwide: “Children growing up in healthy, married, two-parent families are more likely to lead happy, healthy and successful lives than those who have not experienced the same level of family security and stability. … Furthermore, members of families are more disciplined when it comes to fulfilling legal and social norms.”
In Genesis 2:18 God reveals that the helper (or spouse) who is just right for a man is a woman. Adam recognized the suitability of Eve immediately: “’At last!’ the man exclaimed. ‘This one is bone from my bone and flesh from my flesh’” (v. 23 NLT). If another man would have been an equally satisfying spouse for Adam, why did God bother with the creation of a woman?
God then affirms his design for marriage by saying, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (2:24 NLT). The marriage God sanctions is the joining of a biological man and a biological woman.
What Our Culture Seeks
Our culture seeks to undermine and destroy these foundational biblical principles about sexuality. Society tells us that gender is fluid—you cannot determine gender at birth by a baby’s reproductive organs. Gender is a choice—determined by an individual’s preferences as he or she matures.
Our culture also tells us that there are no gender restrictions when it comes to sexual activity. Homosexual and heterosexual relationships are equally satisfying and equally acceptable—even though biological facts and the emotional toll of these relationships tell a different story.
As one transgender told me: “I knew I was sinning and living against God’s design. I suppose that is why I recognized the emptiness inside my heart. But I wanted ‘it,’ the very thing I believed would bring me to the peace I’ve sought for so many years. Though sin can feel good while in the act, the feel-good would leave almost instantly afterwards and leave me in my despair, emptiness, and longing to be whole.”
God’s Standards
God’s standards of morality and sexuality are unchanging. His eternal love for us compels him to set down parameters that encourage us to live in ways that move us toward fulfillment and wholeness. When we deviate from that path, we open ourselves to all kinds of destructive behaviors and damaging emotions.
Like every other aspect of our lives, God invites us to follow his directives on sexuality: “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like [those] who do not know God and his ways” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 NLT).
As the Phillips translation of the Bible puts it: “Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould, but let God re-mould your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good, meets all his demands and moves towards the goal of true maturity” (Romans 12:2).
God’s plan for you is good—including his plan for your sexuality, a gift which he fashioned before you were born. Live within the boundaries of heterosexual marriage, which he has ordained, so you can experience the fullness of sexual satisfaction you desire.
For more about Denise, check out her story in My Daddy’s Secret:
“My Daddy’s Secret the sensitive-often heartbreaking-true story of the effects of a father’s secret sexual addictions on his family-particularly on his oldest daughter, whom he made his confidante when she was just nine years old. The author hopes this book will provide new insights into the pain such addictions inflict on families-and insight into God’s amazing grace in healing those pains.”
